SEXY SENIORS: Audiosmut lends an ear to experienced voices

“The truth is, older people, and especially older women, have always been more sexual than society has been prepared to accept”

- from Dierdre Fischel and Diana Holtzberg’s Still Doing It: The Intimate Lives of Women Over 60

First thing’s first: The widespread denial of elderly sexuality not only restricts the sexual freedom and openness of seniors themselves, but also paints a completely distorted picture of what is actually going on between the sheets of older ladies and gents.

This inaccurate picture is further distorted by the media’s obsession with youth (and while you could analyse the biological or psychological motivations at play there, in the end it really has to do with marketing strategies to access impressionable minds and disposable incomes) which defines beauty in terms of freshness and firmness.

“Society persists in seeing aging in terms of loss rather than benefit, because capitalism is invested in this vision of its aging people. Capitalism is modeled on the idea of constant change, of what is new. Therefore to look on aging people as becoming better instead of becoming deficient would be to fundamentally challenge the way the whole system is organized and structured.”

Lois Banner, a cultural historian featured in Still Doing It

 While viagra ad campaigns have effectively brought elderly sexuality onto the stage of mainstream media, and has even in some ways contributed to breaking the taboo surrounding the sexuality of the elderly, the viagra phenomenon demonstrates one of the enduring problems in addressing sexuality in general: its focus is on the male.  Many women cite this all too familiar double standard as one of the prominent obstacles in the sexual liberation of the elderly.

SO.

This month the Audiosmut crew decided to explore eroticism that lies beyond realm of youth, and with a general focus on women, talk about the all too often omitted sexuality of the well ripened.

THE RUNDOWN:

PLEASURES episode 6: Betty’s First Client

Betty spends hours and hours listening to Dr. Eckheart’s LP on elderly sexuality.

Sexy Senior #1: GRACE MOORE 

A precocious and passionate writer-scholar-volunteer with an open mind, a girly giggle, and a lot to say about sex.Grace affirms that sexuality is broader than interactions that take place within the bounds of bonded couple-dom. “I don’t believe in what they call the ownership of people in the name of affection” says Grace. One of the biggest challenges as an older woman being the sparse selection of eligible bachelors (or bachelorettes), Grace believes that you don’t have to be in a monogamous relationship to be sexually satisfied, nor does a woman need a partner to feel complete. She talks about the role of fantasy and making love to yourself as a way to achieve sexual satisfaction, and shares a poem that was quite controversial in her writing group.

Making Love to Myself

When I make love to myself

I feel guilty

I feel like an adolescent

doing it because I am too young

to have a partner

I am 61 years old

and this is no first awakening

of sexuality

When I make love to myself

I feel that the only real sex

exists within bonded couples

regardless of the quality

I feel that I am violating a trust

convention tells me

that any old romantic fantasy

is better than this physical indulgence

When I try to make love to myself

I sometimes cannot do it

for all the above reasons

plus the one supreme one

like a wife

I am just too tired

At other times

it is perfect

I reach a climax

and then I fall asleep

Then, making love to myself

is the best sleeping pill I know

SEXY SENIOR # 2: Our Man Chris

Chris is a distinguished gent at the ripe age of 75 with toned legs and a passion for people.

Chris reveals the nuances of his sexual preferences and resulting experience. We capture a glimpse of his life history from mind-blowing acid trip inspired romps of his youth to steamy disrobings in the saunas of his older years. He illuminates the interesting mystique surrounding the ‘older man’ in gay male culture, explaining that many a youngster really get off on the idea of an elderly gent.

SEXY SENIOR #3: Roz, a vivacious and outspokenwoman shares her opinions and exeriences of sex over margaritas with a couple of friends (one of whom just happened to be Britt)

Taking a minute to listen to Roz as she relates tales of her encounters with ‘the big dong’, the ‘daisy chain’, and dating younger men will make you think twice before you assume that older women aren’t interested or indulging in sex.  This woman is living (and how!) proof that sex can get better with age.

Email us at smut@ckut.ca and we’ll send you a copy of the show!